officialjaygatsby asked: Thanks for following me!
Are you from africa ? because african love you. Are you from jamaica ? becuase jamaican me crazy ! Are you from russia ? because you’re-a making my blood russia to my d*ck. Are you japanese ? because i wanna take JAPANESE off. Are you from china ? ‘cause i’m china get your number.
Why I like people on the Internet far more than I...
School Friend: So what did you get for Christmas?
Me: Oh, I got this really cool TARDIS mug
SF: What's a Tardis?
Me: It's just this time machine from Doctor Who
SF: What's Dr. Who?
Me: It's a sci-fi show
Me: I also got a Desktop-Patrol Dalek
SF: You got a what?
I love the term 'we're expecting' when talking...
everysongisaboutsex: because it makes it sound like there’s more than one outcome. Yeah, we’re expecting a baby but it could be a velociraptor.
Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you.
Me: Darren Criss
family: do you have a boyfriend?
family: why not?
me: because you can't legally date fictional characters