February 2012
she wears high heels
i wear sneakers
she’s cheer captain
and i read homoerotic fanfiction about a fictional high school glee club
- Teacher: Have you done your homework?
- Me: No
- Teacher: Why?
- Me: I got lost in Australia and I couldn't find an airport.
- Someone tomorrow: So, have you had a nice week off? Been anywhere nice?
- Me: I'VE SEEN THE WORLD. ALL OF IT, MAINLY RURAL ROADS AND A LOT OF ASIA, BUT I'VE SEEN IT. AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING - AIRPORTS ARE NOT EASY TO FIND.
- Someone tomorrow: ...
- Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
- Tumblr: No, but I could give you directions to the nearest airport.
“Everybody’s growing up around me. But I ain’t got no patience, so let’s have another Jack & Coke. I’m at the centre of a story. But I’ve still got some time to grow, so crack another Jack & Coke.”
—Alex Day, Jack & Coke (via hothotbeet)
- People on the internet: omg you're perfect be mine
- People who live far away: omg you're perfect be mine
- People at school: omg my eyes are burning please kill yourself to stop the pain
“Sometimes I pretend to be an octopus. But then people are like ‘Darren what’re you doing?’ And I just sit there and laugh because they’re not cool enough to be an octopus and I’m just like ‘Hah you’re just jealous because you’re not an octopus.’”
—
Darren Criss (via trojmiasto)
Darren.
(via butovalencia)
- Katniss: Peeta, could you please stop it with the bread jo-
- Peeta: I BREAD YOUR PARDON
- People on the internet: omg you're perfect be mine
- People who live far away: omg you're perfect be mine
- People at school: omg my eyes are burning please kill yourself to stop the pain
Porphyrophobia
Tom Milsom
Porphyrophobia - Tom Milsom (Ephemera: Demos and Unreleased Stuff 2007-10 version)
From bandcamp:
“The last thing I really dicked about on before going into the studio to record Painfully Mainstream, this was recorded with a guy called JT, who played the guitar. I was going through a pretty intense (and brief) antifolk phase. This must have been mid 2009*.”
Porphyrophobia is a fear of purple, by the way… the guy it’s about has purple hair.LYRICS:
When you’re looking for a someone
And then someone comes along
It never enters in your head
The thought that someone could be wrongAnd they’ll tell you that you’re pretty
Put these thoughts inside your head
But you’re never really special
You’ll just realise you’re average insteadAnd you’ll try to wash away the crowd
Play your music far too loud
But everyone will just think that you’re irritating
People-hating
Just another Single Mother offshoot when you’re not
This lip gloss feels all funny, man I wish that I was shot
Through the heart with a dart, but I’m not, but I’m not, but I’m not.And the someone that you know and love
Is sleeping at your place
And there’s something in his hair
And there’s something on your faceAnd you look him in the eyes
And then he’s playing your guitar
And then you want to hold him close
But then he’s getting in his carAnd all the songs he played this morning
Were about people like me
That he’d fallen for or slept with
Or had gotten drunk and slept with, just like meAnd I know I’m not that great,
There are things about you that I hate,
And I know that I’m annoying too
But mostly when I think of you
I feel like I am someone who is irritating
People-hating
Just another drunken lover, even if I’m not
Your hair is multicoloured and your eyes are all bloodshot
And I wish that I am special just like you, but I’m not, but I’m not.*nope: Sun 13 Jan 2008
See other songs from this compilation
See the Painfully Mainstream version of this song
